Though the Broken Pieces - revised and updated

I stared down into the dark tranquil water thinking of just throwing myself into the greeting arms of the waters cold embrace. I wanted to die, I wanted all my pain to just disappear and leave without a question. The images flash in my mind taking all my willpower to push them away as I dug my nails into my goose bump raised flesh of my arms. Biting my lip a slight sob escapes my dry chapped lips and a small crystal tear gracefully slides down my dirt stained cheek.  Quickly feeling weakness overcome my body I wipe away the vengeful tear from my cheek and I take in a deep breath. I needed to find shelter for the night before I become too exposed to the creatures that now stalked our planet.
Brushing my ratty brown hair from my eyes I took in my surroundings.  A cool brisk air lightly kissed at my dry skin as it rustled the autumn leaves on the nearby trees. I could smell death; if you asked anyone now a days that’s all they would tell you; it was either death or the decay of our once growing society.  Groaning I stood up causing the brittle dried up twigs under my bare feet crack. Wiggling my toes I looked down as fresh blood stained the dirt beneath them.  I felt stupid for not grabbing a pair of shoes while I was being forced out of the front door of my house. Though I guess I really didn’t have much of a choice; it was either die or suffer from cracked bloody feet and well I preferred living than having my ass chopped up into little bits or whatever it is they do to us.
It was odd being out in the forest without a sign of any life. No sounds but the wind in the trees and the tiny trickle of water from the creek. I remember coming through this part all the time before the invasion. Nick and I would always see a small rabbit or deer out by this small tiny creek. I miss the chirping melody of the birds in the sky and crickets at night. I miss… I miss his warm hand in mine as we would walk and talk about our day’s events along this very path; the small kiss we would steal by the waterfall. That’s when it clicked as his words flooded my mind.
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The spray from the waterfall lightly hit my bare legs as we stood by the water’s edge. This was our favorite spot to go on humid days such as this. Small yellow and purple flowers lined the shore of the forests lake Campton. Lazily we leaned against an Oak tree in each other’s arms taking in the sites of kids and their parents splashing in the shallow areas of the crystal clear water.
“Did you ever hear the tales of the small shack out here by the waterfall?” He kissed the top of my forehead as I rolled my eyes.
“Why no Alec I don’t think you’ve told me fifty times or more.”  I couldn’t help but pull out my sweet innocent yet sarcastic tone with that comment; which only made him laugh whenever I did it.  I already knew the tale of the escaped psychiatric patient from the mental hospital down the road. He would kidnap young women take them to this small shack and torture them for hours till they died. He would than dispose of the bodies miles away from his ‘sanctuary’.
“Well it’s true!” He grasped my shoulders and gazed seriously into my eyes.  “The ghosts of all those murdered women still haunt that place.”  His tone was even and firm, I could tell he was struggling not to laugh; I busted out laughing and he followed in pursuit.
“Maybe one day I’ll take you there and just leave you to fend for yourself.” I stopped laughing and socked him hard in the shoulder. He rubbed it and made his puppy dog eyed look at me like I had actually hurt him.
“You know that’s not funny you butthead.” Butt hurt I folded my arms and turned my back on him and walked away.  I heard his shoes crunch the dry brush beneath them as he chased after me. Grabbing my arm he pulled me into his strong arms.
“I’m sorry; you know I didn’t mean it. I was just joking Mia.” A small grin spread across my face when I saw how sincere he was. I couldn’t help but nuzzle my nose into the crook of neck and shoulder. Taking in a deep breath the faint smell of Old Spice and ginger filled my lungs. I felt safe whenever I was in his arms.
“I love you Mia.” He whispered softly into my hair. My heart skipped a beat and a held him closer. A hot summer breeze blew around us stirring up dirt and leaves around us.
“I love you too, Nick.” My hair blew around my face as I pulled away so I could look into his kind emerald green eyes. He placed one of his rough calloused hands under my small delicate chin and kissed me passionately on the lips.
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Caught up in the lingering moment of our last kiss I could still taste the tingles, see the tremors, hear the need, smell the words and I never wanted to come back down, where the night was no longer a friend and the past caught up so fast and time was the enemy that I abhorred.  His lips were so soft against mine, and it felt like his hand still rested on my cheek. Squeezing my eyes shut I shook my head in hopes of bringing it back.
A rustling noise to the left of me snapped me back into reality. Warily I looked around at the darkening sky and swallowed hard. Wrapping my arms around myself I moved forward hoping that the stories were true. Finding that shack was probably my only hope for survival for the night.
I picked up pace and began to jog as I heard the waterfall’s angry battering on the water below it. I was becoming frantic as the sun sunk below the tree line. I only had minutes before I was in complete darkness. That’s when they liked to come out for the hunt and harvest our bodies. Passing the waterfall my heart threatened to jump from my chest from the adrenaline coursing through my body. A twig snaps from behind me and immediately I throw my body into a full on run. My bare feet cry out in agony as they trample over every little sharp twig, but I know that if I stop I will be as good as dead.  There was no way I was going to let them have me; not like they took my family and my friends.
A small outline of a weathered hut came into view and hope flooded my body. I hear a horrible gurgling noise in the distance making me push myself to go faster. My lungs begin to burn and my throat dries out just as I arrive at what appeared to be the front door. The gurgling was getting closer; I pushed the door but it wouldn’t budge and my heart sank. Closer… they were getting closer I could hear the crunching of branches; throwing my body into the door in my last effort of getting in it gave and a fell onto the gritty floorboards. Scrambling I shut splintered wooden door and crawled into the corner. My heart pounded into my ears as I grasped the sides of my shorts.  That’s when I heard it, a deep throaty growl just outside the small window above my head. Startled I made a small squeaking noise clamping my mouth shut I prayed that they didn’t hear it.
The clicking of their legs on the deck drew closer to the door. As the seconds ticked by my heart raced faster and faster. I had no hope left; my last hope was shattered into a million pieces a minute ago; there’s nothing left for me. The door creaked open to reveal what I’ve been afraid to see. My heart skipped a beat when I saw it…right there…carefully watching my every move. Its illuminating blue eyes gazed at me. Another growl escaped its drool dripping lips as it came into the room. I gasped; it was worse than what the others had described.  Its off white skin was slick with some type of slim and it walked on six insect looking legs. The hunters arms were equally as long with three spiked like fingers.
Horror struck and awed at the same time I gazed into its captivating glowing eyes. It felt as if they gripped me into a trance and I didn’t want to leave. The hunter moved closer reaching for me it grabbed me picking me up from the floor. Its fingers dug into my skin drawing blood as it held me in the air; its mouth opened and a small head with sharp teeth came out. As it drew closer to me a shot from behind startled the hunter dropping me to floor. Dazed and confused I took in a shaky deep breath causing me to gag; it smelled like rotten eggs and sulfur. Another shot rang out causing the hunter to shriek with what I assumed was pain collapsing it to the floor. It's greenish blood seeped into the dry gritty floorboards and pooling around my hands and legs. In that moment I didn't care how disgusting this was because as I gazed up from the floor the faintness of the moon outlined the form of my savior standing in the creaky wooden door frame.

“Alec,” My voice came out in a small whimpered whisper. He moved quickly whisking me up into his arms.

“Mia, we can’t talk right now. It’s not safe; you have to come with me right now.” Pulling me towards the door my heart raced. I thought he died back when they first invaded. He had risked his life to save mine by sacrificing himself so I could get away.

Dragging me through the open doorway we bolted through towards the rushing sound of the waterfall. The sudden urge to stop where we were consumed me and I put a halt to our running. I stared into the night, searching. I didn’t know what for; I could just feel that something was hidden in the woods. This something I knew for a fact wasn’t the creepy luminescent things that first invaded. It felt more… dangerous if that can even be believable.

“Alec…” My voice trailed off as I saw the look of awe on his face. He must feel the same way I do.

“We need to go… NOW!” The rumbling of the ground caught us off guard as we began to sprint even fast almost causing us to fall over. This wasn’t good not one little bit. We pushed ourselves fast as an eerie light beamed above us causing the tree limbs above us to look like boney fingers. The howling wind ceased and not a single thing stirred in the woods as a loud thump sounded around us.

“This way.” Grasping my hand he pulled me into a cave with a lining of vines covering it. He was breathing hard as I flipped the small flashlight on to reveal nothing but a dead end. The ground continued to shook as he pulled me to the back end of the dank cave.

“We should be okay here for the night. The lining of vines should provide enough cover for us if we stay fairly quiet.  I don’t know what the heck is out there, and I don’t want to find out.” He slouched down the side of the rocky cave wall. Sliding his dirty calloused hands through his hair he gazed up at me.

“I.. I thought you were dead.” I collapsed on my knees and wrapped my arms hungrily around his neck. Welcoming it he placed his hands onto my back bringing me closer.

“I got away just in time Mia. It went by so quick I still don’t know how on earth I survived, but I did. I grouped up with a few rebels shortly after and they taught me what they knew, but I had to come find you.”  His smile beamed at me as he cupped my cheek. “I had to know if you were alive, and when I saw you running for your life I had to save you.” Lightly he kissed my lips sending the familiar zing of passion through me.

“I missed you so much.” I cuddled up in his arms as we took in the fact that we were for sure back with one another.

“You know, I think I’m actually seeing my points I made out to you so long ago. Remember what I would always tell you when were still in high school? Playfully he twirled my hair around his index finger.

“No actually I don’t.” Innocently I toyed with him, and he knew it.

“As a small child, I felt in my heart two contradictory feelings, the horror of life and the ecstasy of life. I think the ecstasy is actually the adrenaline and passion we fell during life, and well the horror are now these things that roam out earth.” He sighed lightly as he contemplated it.

“Alec, that doesn’t make any sense.” I giggled a little while he shook his head.

“Sure it does.” Scratching the top of his head he knitted his eyebrows together. “What happened to the rest of your family?” My face fell and I nudged my nose under his chin.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, okay?” I bit my lip as I held back the tears. Sensing I need a change in subject he coughed.

 “We actually probably should try and get some sleep. I promise nothing will ever hurt you, and you don’t have to talk about it till you’re ready.” Kissing the top of my forehead he held me in his arms and laid his head on top of mine.

Closing my eyes I drew in a deep breath thankful that I might actually get to have one night of sleep and maybe just maybe I might not be tormented by the images of my families death.  

  

Breathe Into Me

Beep. Beep. Beep. What’s that noise? I think groggily to myself. Beep. Beep. Beep. There it is again, what the hell is that? Groaning I open my eyes and greeted with nothing more than a bright light. “Seriously?” My voice comes out in a horse whisper. “Lovely.” I lick at my dry lips attempting to move again, but what an epic fail that was. Focusing my gaze I realized I was in an overly white room, and I mean it this room was to white for comfort. Beep. Beep. Beep. “What the hell is that?” This time my voice comes out slightly clearer and someone runs to the edge of my bed.

“Oh Kay you’re awake!” I see my mother’s frantic face above mine. “They said you would never wake up.” She lightly touched the side of my face as small crystal tears glided down her face.

“What happened?” I managed to say before my mother decided to run out the door. “Okay than, I guess not.” Once again I tried to move but became even more annoyed by the fact that I couldn’t. Actually now that I think about it I can’t feel anything. This wasn’t good; no in fact this was horrible. I tried to move my head to find it was still in the immobile stage as the rest of my body. Okay don’t panic. The thing is the more I told myself that the more I began to panic. The beeping followed right along with my heart beat until… well you guessed it until I became in this lovely state of what is it… limbo?

I crashed, and burned so to speak. Doctors and nurses rushed around me trying to start my heart once again. The thing is I really didn’t remember how I exactly ended up laying on that hard hospital mattress. I’d like to know just in case I actually did kick the bucket. The odd thing about being here in limbo is well I’m solid, but I’m not does that make sense? I can touch myself but not living breathing people. Oh how I envy those people.

My mother sat weeping in a brown leather chair across from my lifeless body. I watched as the machines breathed for me now. Was this going to be my life? Sitting here watching as my body withered away as I stood by its side? I reached down wondering if I could touch my corpse; as my hand went through my forehead flashes of memories stirred behind my eyes. Hungrily I watched hoping I could grasp hold of some mortality.

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“Come on we have seriously got to try this Kay!” Alec thrust his calloused hand towards me pulling me over the edge of the cliff. Looking down rushing water spewed from the other end of the mountain into the crystal clear ocean. The trick of cliff diving is to jump at the right moment or risk the chance of serious injury or death from hitting the sharp rocks below.  

“Remember our motto Kay.” I rolled my eyes and laughing slightly.

“Yes Alec, I do. Variety is the spice of life. Who could ever forget it babe?”  He shook his head just before leaning of and kissing the top of my head.

“See you at the bottom, I love you Kay.” It was always customary to say I love you just before jumping or doing something others would consider to be a bit to reckless for any normal human being to do.

“I love you to Alec.” I watched as he ran to the edge and jumped. Peeking over the edge I watched as he plummeted into the water in a perfect angelic like dive.  Taking in a deep breath I calmed my nerves and timed my dive. The thing is just as I was about to jump I slipped on a rock I didn’t see and twirled over the edge.

This was it; I was going to die right here right now.  I didn’t make a sound I just snapped my eyes shut as my body hit the water hard. My side and head collided with something sending sharp spasms throughout my water knocking the air out of me. I swallowed a mouth full of water just before my head broke the surface. Frantic shouts came from above and around me in the water. A faded image of Alec peered back at me as I tried to grasp hold of my consciousness. Black began to cloud my vision, and before I knew it I was out cold as ice.  

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Sighing I slumped down on the floor by my bed trying to figure out where Alec would be, and why he wasn’t there. Did something else happen that I wasn’t aware of? I know there was a lot of blood, but those waters aren’t known for a bunch of sharks either…. Or…. Oh no. I hunched over praying that it wasn’t true. It was shark season, when they started to come back into those particular areas for mating.

Cautiously I got up and made my way to where the front desk was. One of the nurses was clicking away at the mouse. Maybe it was a good thing I could go through things, because just as I walked through the desk I caught the glimpse of Alec’s name blinking on her screen. She bolted from her desk as I watched several of them run towards where his room would be.

Following in pursuit I stumbled upon a sight I didn’t want to see. Several nurses were around him and one was using this type of machine to shock him. I can’t recall the name. I caught the glimpse of something in the corner moving around in uneven circles.

“Alec?” From the waist down he was faded and once he heard his name his head popped up.

“Kay is that really you?” I rushed towards him taking his ghostly hand in mine. Sorrow was written all over his face as he took one of his hands from mine and caressed the side of my face. “Oh Kay, I can feel myself leaving. I thought… I thought you were dead.”

“But I’m not Alec! Fight this don’t leave me!” I moaned and pleaded with him, but the more I seemed to plead the faster he seemed to fade.

“I can’t Kay. It’s to late for me, but it isn’t for you. Stay alive. Stay here.” His ghostly lips pressed against mine as clear tears rolled down our cheeks. "I’ll see you on the other side Kay. I love you.” He faded within the instant and I collapsed into a moping heap on the floor.

“I can’t stay! I won’t stay! I can’t live without you!” I yelled into the ever dying air.

“Call it.” The doctor and nurses gazed up at the clock. “Seven forty-four in the morning.” They pulled the blood stained white sheet over his head.  Maybe he was right. Maybe I needed to stay and try to live my life. It hurt me, but me dying would only make things worse for everyone else.

Getting up from the floor my bare feet padded gently on the cold tile. Placing my hand just above his face I shook my head. “I love you Alec. I’ll try, but I can’t promise anything.” My body began to fade, closing my eyes I thought that I was dying till an odd tingling sensation flooded me. Opening them once again I was greeted to the same bright light and my mother’s relieved face.

Watch Me Fall

Dwindling fading and an eerie luminescence fills my darkening soul. Dirty snow lay beneath my scuffed up converse as I gaze at my reflection on the iced over river. Do I dare step onto its slick surface and sacrifice plunging into its razor sharp grasp or do I just turn away? I stood here just months ago when Lucas proposed to me. Tears roll down my cheeks in silent torment smearing my mascara down my face and I don’t want them to stop.
“Where are you now?” My breath comes out in puffs against the cool air as I talk to myself. “Will I find you again?” My voice cracks and I fall to my knees weeping. “Sometimes I still hear you calling for me from some distant place I can’t get to. I miss you so much.” Bringing my gloved hands to my eyes I cry harder trying to remember all the good times, all the thrills and all the sweet kisses we shared.
Flashes of the memories play behind my eyelids like tempting devils as I try to grasp a hold of what once was. I wrapped his bright orange jacket around myself hoping to feel him again. His inviting smile, warm hands, and welcoming arms; everything about him was gone. All that I am left with is his favorite orange jacket.
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His laughter filled my ears as I slid down the snow covered hill and I couldn’t help but laugh too. Brushing the caked snow from my black jeans I caught from the corner of my eye him in his bright orange jacket sliding down right towards me. Of course he was aiming for me; he always enjoyed making me wipe out. He barreled right into me making me fall right on top of him.
“Why hello there Miss Kasha.” His smile spread across his face as I crunched up my face from his cute childishness. Taking a handful of snow I smashed it into his face wiping the smile from his face. “Hey now that’s not fair.” He couldn’t help but roll me over and return the favor. We both broke out laughing and shared a small innocent kiss.
Of course this was our favorite spot. We met here in this small park by the river a little over a year ago. He threw a snowball at my butt; he told me it was his way of saying hello. Of course I fell for his cute boyish charms and we were dating in no time, and soon I hoped I was going to be Mrs. Kasha Dawn Moreno. I was the envy of all my friends, he was cute and he was sweet. Everyone told me how lucky I was to find such a catch and I couldn’t have agreed more.
Lucas helped me back up and led me to the spot under the bridge where we shared our very first kiss. He was smiling from ear to ear, and I couldn’t help but notice him fiddling with something in the pocket of his ridiculous orange jacket. Taking my hands in his he brought me closer to him as we shared another kiss.
“You know I love you right?” His emerald green eyes gazed intently into my mine as he squeezed my hands gently. I shook my head yes; I could feel my heart leap into my throat as he bent down on one knee. “Kasha Dawn Caulston will you give me the honor and make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?” He reached down into his orange jacket pocket and opened a small velvet box that contained a beautiful diamond engagement ring.
“Yes Lucas, I’ll marry you.” I jumped on top of him not caring that we would end up freezing cold and pressed my lips on top of his. He embraced me as we rolled in the snow till we couldn’t feel our bodies anymore. Shivering I watched as Lucas took his orange jacket off and draped t across my shoulders. Grateful for the extra warmth he wrapped an arm around me as we walked towards the car. In that moment my life was perfect and nothing else mattered to me.
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This spot holds so much more than happy memories; it also holds the one memory I can’t seem to escape no matter how much I try to run from it. It haunts every waking moment; every single dream is turned into the real nightmare I lived. I swallow hard as I crawl to the edge of the glossy river. My reflection stares back at me as a nearby street light above glistens on the ice.
Mascara has run down my cheeks from my sky blue eyes. My redish brown hair is stuck under a small wool cap and my smile has vanished into a never ending frown. Lucas’ orange jacket was the only colorful thing I ever wore. I’m not the girl I used to be. Time has a way of changing things, transforming people places and things from the way they were in the beginning. Its evil twisted ways have changed me for the worst. I blame myself for everything that’s happened. It was my entire fault he came out this way that fateful night.
Placing my hand over my reflection I press hard causing spider like cracks beneath it. Shaking my head in acknowledgement I know now that the ice won’t hold my weight. I want to do this; no I need to do this. It’s the only way I can forget him and the only way I can be with him. I sniffle as I look up at the never ending sky and wonder what it would be like to fly above the stars.
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“Lucas?” I call out to him from our small kitchen. It was pretty nice for being in an older apartment; it had lovely chestnut cabinets and brand new stainless steel appliances in it. The flooring may be laminate, but it did look like real stone instead of fake.
“Yeah?” He pokes his head through the archway with his eyebrows raised.
“Can you do me a favor? I need some milk to finish up dinner, and I know that gas station just past the bridge is still open.” I turned to face him as I placed the spatula down on the granite counter top. He sighed and playfully rolled his eyes.
“Of course I can babe.” He came into the kitchen grabbing the keys and his orange jacket off of the hooks he leaned down and kissed me on the lips. “I Love you, I’ll be back in a few okay.” Smacking his butt with the spatula I went back to stirring dinner. Thunder boomed outside and soon rain pelted the windows as lighting danced across the sky.
“Be careful Lucas. Love you!” The door clicked shut behind him and I turned off the stove. No use in letting the dinner overcook while I waited for him to come back.
Minutes turned into an hour and I began to worry as the storm outside grew. The power flickered and I cussed under my breath. My heart raced as I began to pace by the phone hoping that he will call and let me know why he wasn’t home yet. Another hour went by and my heart raced on as if it were in a marathon. Lights pierced through the window and I rushed out the door, but I wasn’t greeted by Lucas. Instead I was greeted by two police officers.
Rain pelted their hats and suits; their faces were oddly grim. I stopped dead in my tracks as they met me half way. My hair stuck to the sides of my oval face as I gazed hopefully at the two lanky men.
“I’m Officer Stewart and this is Officer Silvas. Are you Kasha Caulston?” This wasn’t good and they knew I knew it. I shook my head yes as my heart jumped up into my throat. Officer Stewart took off his hat as he lightly placed his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry miss, but I’ve got some bad news for you, but your fiancé has been…” I broke. I knew what he was going to say, and I didn’t want to hear it.
I collapsed onto the wet asphalt of the parking lot and cried. Officer Silvas bent down and helped me back up. “I’m so very sorry for your loss miss.” My heart broke into a million pieces and all I wanted to do was go back inside. “We need you to come in and identify his body. I know it’s a lot to ask, but it needs to be done so the preparations can begin.” He truly did sound remorseful and I let them guide me to their car.
On the way there I couldn’t help but ask what happened. On his way back from the gas station another car had swerved into his lane causing him to go off the side of the bridge and crash into the river. They said that the doctors think the impact with the water and the way the seat belt was broke his neck and he died instantly. I kept telling myself that I fell asleep in the chair by the window and that I would wake up from this hellish nightmare and everything would be okay, but it wasn’t okay.
When we arrived at the morgue I stood by a body with a sheet lightly draped over it, and I could see the faintness of orange beneath that sheet. When they reviled his face the sound of me slowly dying inside escaped my lips. Sensing that i wanted to be alone they left me so I could say my final good-byes.
I took his cold stiff hand in mine as I gazed upon what once was my whole life. His lips were blue and there were a few scratches on his face but he looked oddly peaceful. I lightly leaned over and kissed the top of his head as I let a single tear slide down my cheek and onto his ice cold skin.
“I’ll never be whole again.” I whispered into the dead space. “I’ll never forget you, and I’ll love you always and forever."
I couldn’t help but ask that I could keep that silly orange jacket of his when they were done prepping the body for burial. It was the only thing that he wore the most, and I needed it more than ever.
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Now as I look upon all the things that I have ever lived for he was the most important thing in my life. He was gone, and he took my soul with him. I was a walking shell of nothing, and now on what would have been our two year anniversary I plan on joining him. I slid off the orange jacket of his and lightly kissed it as if not only saying good-bye, but also saying hello once again. I placed a small note which I made to no one in particular in the pocket knowing that this jacket will be found as soon as I am. Maybe it was my confession and maybe it really was just a plain old suicide note. I pulled it out and fingered it gingerly as I opened it just to double check that it was perfect:
To Whom It May Concern,
My name is Kasha Dawn Caulston. I can’t take the things that torment my every waking minute alive. I can’t say I even feel alive anymore and all I want is to be with him again. I will take my life in the same spot where his was taken so I can be with him once again. I don’t expect for anyone to understand, but I’ve lost the only thing in my life I have ever cared about. I love you mom, I love you dad please just don’t blame yourselves. Take this orange jacket and always remember me when I was happier. No longer will you have to watch me fall.
Kasha-
Sucking in the cold winter air I slipped the note back into the pocket and made my way to the very edge of the river once again. Stepping onto the ice I felt as it began to give the father I got until I got to the middle and it completely collapsed. Water rushed around me shoving me under the icy sheet. At first it felt like a million knives were being pushed into my skin and oddly it became a peaceful sensation. I closed my eyes welcoming deaths embrace and the hopes that Lucas’ will be waiting for me on the other side. I felt the urge to breath grow and I gladly said my last words to myself. “I will find you again.” I saw as Lucas reached for me in his silly orange jacket and suddenly I was surrounded by pure white snow and once again I was in his arms again but this time it was for forever.

Kissing Shards

Breathing in the musty damp air of Natalia’s basement I can’t help but feel an uneasiness flood my body. The subtle feeling of urgency prickles across my skin sending chills down my spine. Whenever this feeling consumes me something usually bad is about to happen. Thinking about it the last time I felt this was three years ago when my parents were brutally mangled in a horrific car accident. They were on their way home from their anniversary dinner. The police came and took me to their department after they delivered the news to me. I know they never meant to let me see the photos from the scene, but I helped myself to them knowing that they were preoccupied in finding me a place to stay. None of my relatives liked my family much we were the odd ones out of the bunch, and I knew for a fact that none of them would take me under their wing. Tilting my head to the side I took in the photo’s mainly for curiosity, but also to confirm what they told me.  Some semi-truck driver fell asleep at the wheel, but of course he’s pretty little semi didn’t suffer much damage. Though my parent’s car was another matter, it has rolled multiple times down the side of the highway. Metal mangled and merged with itself trapping my parents among its sick and twisted design.  I could see their blood taint the metal and some limbs here and there. I almost felt sick to my stomach, but at the same time I was awed that such a horrific matter could be such a beautiful piece of art.

I was shuffled in and out of foster homes due to my ‘bad’ behavior. Of course I was going be a bit on the rebellious side, and being booted from home to home didn’t help. My parents had just died what did these people expect? An angel? In every high school I was labeled a loner. I was afraid to make friends because I knew I would be moving anyways. So I kept to myself ignoring everything and everyone around me. It still surprises me to this day that I actually graduated, but I think I have Natalia to thank for that. I met her when we were in our senior year in high school. We instantly clicked when we met back in what they called smoker’s alley where everyone who couldn’t live without a quick drag on a cigarette between classes.  Then of course just as I was getting settled in and actually enjoying my life my foster parents were booting me to another home. I was furious there was no way I was going to move again. I finally had a good friend who got me, and there was not a chance that I was going to give that up. I put my foot down and screamed at them on how much they were screwing my life up even more. Natalia caught wind of everything and she begged her parents to take me in. Which after a few pleads and hearing my story they agreed under the condition I stayed in school, kept good grades and graduated.

So that’s where I’m at today. Standing here in my make shift room. Natalia stared into the bathroom mirror gliding on peach lip gloss across her full lips. Her dark brown hair was pulled into a messy bun and her hazel eyes stood out under her smokey make-up. Jealousy panged along with the uneasy feeling.  My choppy black hair fell in a stick straight bob delicately framing me round face. Thick eyeliner rimmed my pea green eyes and my lips shinned with the cherry lip gloss I had put on earlier. I wasn’t happy one bit that we had to wear dresses. It was either that not graduate with the rest of our class. I wore a slightly formal black dress that clung to what curves I had and I couldn’t help but feel naked. It felt so weird not wearing pants. It was kind of like just going out in public in your underwear way to exposed for my taste thank you.

“Stop yanking at the hem Destiny. You’ll unravel the dress before we even get to the auditorium.” Natalia smacked her lip admiring her gloss job.

“Sorry I feel so exposed in this damn thing. I don’t know how people can do it. I swear it’s unnatural.”  I yanked at the soft fabric as it rode up above my knees.

“Des, that’s what it’s supposed to feel like. Doesn’t it give you that feeling of freedom?” Rolling my eyes I plopped down on the edge of my small bed and slid on my dangerously high heels. Now these I love, I guess I can say not wearing pants for once means I can show of my legs in these spiked heels. “By the way Des those heels are amazing.” Natalia said as she sat down beside me sliding on her flats. Sucking in a sharp breath the feeling crept further and further in my body, and I couldn’t shake that something bad was going to happen to her. I swallowed hard fighting back the urge to cry. I don’t know what I would do if I lost my best friend.  Letting out a slight cough she spoke again. “I said are you ready to go?”

Rebellion: Fantasy

Everyone and everything once thrived in harmony with one another. Not a single person in this world could have ever imagined what was to become of them. It’s like on the first page of our story the future seemed so bright, and this thing turned out so evil and corrupted. I don’t know why they seemed so surprised that such a tragic and horrific end could come. Everything collapsed in the year 2012. It was destroyed under the rule of the president; we aren’t supposed to say his name it’s forbidden and the punishment is death by hanging. Their plan was to get one of their own ‘kind’ nominated and voted into the presidency where he would slowly chip away at the dignity of society. Devils are what we call them behind their backs all the while we are forced to call them saints of our dying civilization. Many people have revolted and many have died, but I know with careful planning we can succeed.  We can take down the menace and I am determined to lead the revolution.

****

It’s the year 3012 on the eve of the destruction of humanity and the beginning of death and torment; the Menji celebrate by sacrificing one of us, preferably someone who is a virgin. They believe if they make this offering to their ‘master’ than their reign will last for another year. Who knew our civilization would last a thousand years under the circumstances they have us live under. Most of the world is covered in constant fires. Water sources are contaminated and we have to boil every single drop before we drink it and bathe in it. Sure the ashes from the fires are good for the soil and what we are allowed to grow grows like a weed on a hot summer day. Our living conditions aren’t so bad. We live in stone buildings that were constructed by the first few generations of the new world. The streets are made of stone, and there’s not much grass. The sky always seems to have a tint of red to it, and I’ve always wondered what it would be like to actually see a blue sky. In the books I read the world was a happy place and everything had a happy ending, but here in the real life it’s cooperate or die.  

I couldn’t help but gnaw vigorously at the inside of my cheek as I started down at the horrendous red things. Tonight was the night the Menji retrieved their victim for their ceremony the next evening. I could see multiple people looking out their windows with fear in their eyes that they would be next. My heart dropped as I watched their grotesque bodies walk up to my friend Cadence’s house. Cadence and I go way back. We grew up together and attended the same few classes that were offered. We would always talk about which boys we liked and we even had sleepovers. I was there for her when she was proposed to by Ian, and I was there for her when he backed out just a few weeks ago. I remember she cried forever, Ian was the one she had fallen for and well Ian was nothing but a user. He never got what he wanted from her and left it was as simple as that. Even though I never dated, and I have yet to receive my first kiss or marriage proposal I know she would have been there for me when it happened.

Though the hard fact of life when I watch the Menji yank her from the door way and drag her down the road as she kicked and screamed I knew that none of that mattered now. She was chosen, and she would never get married. She would never have kids, and she would never be happy again. I pounded my fist into my frail window sill causing it to split under the force. Instantly my hand throbbed with pain, but it was nothing compared to the pain I felt growing within me. Another person I come to care about has been taken by the Menji. My anger flared I wanted so badly to chase them down and kill them for my friend.

“Vivian Vivian! They took Cadence! Oh Vivian please don’t say she was chosen by the Menji please!” My youngest sister ran up to me holding onto my leg and looked at me pleadingly for me to tell her it was all just a misunderstanding. Though I knew that she looked for a reprieve something that would actually give her some sort of hope in this wasteland, but I couldn’t give it to her. I promised to myself the one day she asked me what Menji meant that I wouldn’t lie or keep things secret from her again. Menji stood for death and evil in its finest purest form, and that’s exactly what escorted my best friend down the dirty stone streets of Brunwhick. 

“Sam I’m not going to lie to you, but it wasn’t a mistake honey they are going to sacrifice her.” Tears sprang to her eyes and she pounded her fists against my shoulders and howled in agony. I could feel the tears inside of me begin to spill out of my brown eyes and I quickly wrapped her into my arms despite her fighting and held her tight against me afraid to let go. My mom came into my room with a pained expression across her face dreading the fact that she may have to tell us the news that my best friend had been taken, but a slight relief washed over it as she saw us huddled in the middle of my floor.

“Oh Vivian and Samantha I’m so sorry.” She made her move to wrap us into a hug but a hard knock at the front door sent her sprawling in the opposite direction.  Gurgling voices filled the dense air and my mother began to shriek hysterically. Two Menji entered my room and yanked my little sister from my arms. Utter horror filled my body and I stood abruptly.

“What’s the meaning of this!? Why are you taking my sister?” I clenched my fists at my side digging my nails into the palm of my hand as I held back the urge to strike them.

“She has been chosen.” They began to drag her towards the door again and I couldn’t move. My legs were like led all I could do was reach out for her hand as she thrust it in my direction.

“Why? You already took Cadence why her too?” A small chuckle escaped one of their greasy fat lips. “Because our master declares we sacrifice two.” With that they exited the door my mother laid on the floor crying hysterically. Dropping to my knees I placed my head into my hands, but no tears came just the overwhelming feeling of despair.

Running footsteps flooded the street and Alec burst through our open door stopping abruptly as he surveyed the scene. “Vivian I just heard the news it’s everywhere that they took Cadence and Sam.” I felt numb I just sat there and gawked at him like he was just a walking piece of wood. “Viv, I’m so sorry.” He knelt down and wrapped my motionless body into a hug. On any other occasion my heart would be soaring with happiness from his touch. Alec and I go way back about as long as Cadence and I did. I instantly felt a connection with him, and it was obvious to me that he didn’t feel the same. He had asked Rylee to be his wife and not me. Our only fit for survival in this hectic life was to ‘bind’ ourselves into marriage no matter the cost. Nobody married for love anymore it was just a tactic to live another day. Babies were born and the Menji always smiled in approval knowing that they would have future generations to rule.

“Viv, are you okay.” These words struck a chord in me that seemed to spark me to life. “Am I okay? Alec, my best friend and my own flesh and blood are being sacrificed in tomorrow’s ceremonial execution, and I know you should know better than to ask me such an absurd question. It’s obvious I’m not.” I let my head fall onto his shoulder as he pulled me closer to him. Sucking in a sobbing breath I could smell hints of mint on him making me wish that I could smell I forever.

“I know Vivian it was a stupid question. I’m sorry for asking it, I’m just concerned for your well-being.”  I held my tongue from saying that if he was so concerned than why is he marrying Rylee and not me, but I knew why. She was so much prettier than me. Her skin was flawless, not one single scar despite all the work we’ve been put through. Her hair was long and ran like waves of gold down her back. Her hazel eyes glistened in what light was provided during the day. She was smart and she was funny. I was always so jealous of her. I had always wished my short layered brown hair was longer, and my plain green eyes would glimmer and dazzle boys senseless. My skin was covered in little tiny scars here and there which always annoyed me. So I knew from the get go who he would choose, it just sucked to know I was right.

I could hear him sigh as he pushed on my shoulders lightly so we were face to face. His strong jaw bone was set in a rigid line and concern was clear on his gorgeous face. A small scar sat just above his left eyebrow, and his eyes were like pools of crystal clear water. Just having his hands on me made relief wash over my body and I was able to focus my thoughts. “Rylee said I should stay and keep an eye on you and your mother tonight. Is that alright with you?” I shut my eyes tight and pushed away more thoughts of how much I would enjoy this if the Menji didn’t rule every aspect of our lives. The only thing I didn’t get was why she wasn’t over here and she sent him instead.

“Yeah I’m fine with it Alec, but how come she didn’t come?” I really could use some company to get the execution and my crying mother off of my mind, but it still bugged me why she sent him instead. Was it to test his will power or just to get some time alone?  I mean she’s been a bit loose when it comes to her own temptations. All her previous suitors before left her because she always went for someone who could provide a more secure environment. She looked at them as assets nothing more.

“Glad to hear it, but I’m not sure why she said she was busy doing a few things with her mom tonight.” Getting up I turned around and rolled my eyes knowing better now. I knew that line, I remember Greg talking about it the day he found out she was in some other man’s bed instead of helping her mom. Poor Alec, he had no idea what he was getting into, but when everything hits the fan I’ll be there for him. Sighing I saw my mom had passed out on the floor. Probably from crying her eyes out which is what  I should be doing, but I didn’t have any tears to cry I had to be strong for the both of use because it was quite obvious she had fallen to bits and pieces. 

“Can you help me get her into bed?” I pointed to her crumpled up body as he got up from the floor. “She must have cried herself to sleep. Can you get her head and I’ll get her feet.” He shook his head and we carefully picked her up and carried her to her bed. Silently I shut the door and plopped down on our wooden couch. “Thanks Alec.”

“You’re welcome Vivian.” He sat down next to me and stretched out lazily. “I wish we could do something about the sacrifices.”  I hung my head low and shook my head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you again.” I could hear the concern in his voice and I couldn’t help but look at him and give him a half smile.

“You’re fine Alec. It’s not your fault.” He sat forward and shook his head in a yes motion. “I know Viv, it’s just I wish we could do something about them too. I think it’s horrible that they’ve tormented out race for so long and no one has really tried to break through and make a stand. Sometimes I wish I could lead the revolution you know?” He leaned back against the rough wood and sighed as he looked up at the tin roofing.  I reached my hand over and squeezed his gently which caught him off guard and he pulled his hand from mine instantly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to do that it just caught me a bit off guard.” He reached back over and squeezed my hand to make his point.

“Alec, I know what you mean by wanting to lead the revolution. I dream about it each and every day. I have no idea how our race has even lasted as long as it has. The books I read are ancient, but they describe a world I wish we all could live in. “Hero’s and heroin’s it’s just amazing to even think someone could fight such a power, and what drives me to believe that one day they will be destroyed.”  I cracked my neck and looked back down at the dirty imperfections on the floor.

“I heard a rumor that some people believe that it’s not just the Menji’s master that can turn into a human, but if the Menji themselves are trained well enough that they too can disguise themselves into humans. Many people believe that they have done it from day one, and that several are running around here in this very town.” I turned my head and gawked at him in awe when the words finally processed in my brain.

“Do you believe that?” I shifted uneasily and leaned back. “Yea I do actually. I believe pretty much anything anymore. I personally believe that the people they take are actually are demons themselves, and that they use ‘killing’ them as just a way to scare us all and stop us from rebelling against them.” I raised my eyebrow and crossed my arms.

“What about my sister Alec? I know for a fact she wasn’t one of those vial things. There’s just no way.” He shook his head absentmindedly as he thought for a moment as he considered my words. “Maybe they actually believe they have to sacrifice an actual human now to get their master’s attention. Maybe just maybe they are actually afraid they are going to fall soon.” He put a finger to his lips as he knitted his eyebrows together to think.

“Could be, there is talk of people wanting to start the rebellion. Maybe they are taking two victims in hopes of striking more fear into us?” I chewed on my bottom lip and joined in with his thinking process.”

“Vivian, I think….” He was cut off when we heard a loud thud come from my mother’s bedroom. We both looked at each other with shock in our eyes and instantly Alec was up and running towards my mother’s bedroom with me trailing behind. He cracked the door open and we saw her sprawled on the floor. The moon caught her crumpled body just right there was a small knife laying in her bloody hand and I could see her blood seeping onto the dirty floor as it ran freely from her throat. “Mom!” I leaped for her, but Alec grabbed me pulling me away from the scene.

“Don’t she’s gone, Vivian there’s nothing we can do. We’ll find someone in the morning.” I sobbed and collapsed into his arms knowing he was right. There was no way I could bring her back. Frustration took over and I screamed as loud as I could, wanting nothing more than to let out the building feeling of hatred. It’s not fair nothing in this life is fair. We are forced to abide by the Menji’s rule or face certain death. We couldn’t go for help, because all humans were under a strict eight o’clock curfew. Alec discreetly shut the door and picked me up carrying me into my room.

“I’m staying in here with you.” He said as he laid me down onto the bed. I reached out and grabbed ahold of his arm. I didn’t want him to leave my side and sit in the far corner. “I don’t want to leave you alone tonight, not after all that’s happened.”

“Please stay right here and lay next to me. I really need someone that I care about near me.” A pained expression flashed across his face but instantly replaced by sadness.

“Of course I will Vivian.” I could feel the pressure on my bed as he climbed in next to me. I turned to face him and curled up next to him as he encircled me in his arms. 

“Why did they have to do this Alec? It’s not fair I’ve lost everything.” The numbness returned and I couldn’t cry anymore. All my emotions were as raw as freshly cut meat.

“Life isn’t meant to be fair at least not anymore. I wish I really knew exactly why they do the things they do, but I hope their end comes soon and those bastards get what they deserve. They say that if you kill their ‘master’ then you kill them all.” Hope sparked throughout my body with his words and I nuzzled my nose underneath his chin bumping it slightly to let him know to go on. “I hear that this master of theirs can be summoned with the right tools. I know that the lead guard supposedly carries the paper that contains it all.”  He squeezed me tighter and let out a ragged sigh.

“Where did you hear this?” I mumbled into his shoulder. “From one of them, I actually over heard one of their conversations awhile back. I haven’t told anyone but you.” For a moment I forgot that everything I cared about has been yanked out from underneath me and all that mattered was him and me in this very point in time. My heart began to beat wildly as I felt him adjust and loosen his grip on me. “Vivian I…” He stammered and cleared his throat and instead of answering he placed his lips upon mine.  “I’m sorry.” He pulled away quickly and placed his head slightly above mine. “I didn’t mean to do that it’s just well never mind. Get some sleep okay.” I opened my mouth to tell him it was okay and that I didn’t mind it one little bit, but I could tell her wasn’t in the mood to talk about it. I took in a deep breath of the dense air and drifted into sleep before my thoughts of death and loss could torment me once again.

***

The sun gleamed brightly through the white puffy clouds. I could see tiny bits of blue here and there and I smiled to myself as I lay in the long lush green grass. I loved visiting this place where no death and no worries followed me. Everything is as how it should be. Perfect. Not a single piece of rubble and soot in sight. Sighing I got up and began to twirl in circles until I saw three figures walk my way. Stopping my vision spun and finally focused on the three people that stood in front of me. The sky darkened and explosions shook the earth, everything was instantly consumed by the hungry flames. My Mother, my sister, and Cadence smiled brightly at me as if they didn’t have a care in the world.

“Are you just going to stand there and watch me burn?” Sam’s voice came out into a whisper and flames shot up around her ghostly form. I stood there and watched flames consume her. “Are you just going to stand there and hear me cry?”  Tears sprang to my eyes and I collapsed in agony as I she touched my ghostly mother’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t a better mother Vivian.” My mother reached out as she spoke to me. “I had to leave there was so much pain and so much anger. I knew you could take care of yourself.”  Looking up I reached my hand out to touch hers, but it went straight through it. Instantly she disintegrated into a puff of smoke.

“You were always there for me. Why aren’t you here when I need you the most?” Eerie screams escaped Cadence’s mouth as her forum melted into nothing but ashes. I fell sideways into a fetal position and I could feel tears streaming down my ash streaked face. I choked on the thick smoke and my vision began to blur once again. My lungs began to burn and grew tighter with each and every breath. The flames turned into waves I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out and the flames washed over my body.

****

Screaming I jolted from my sleep and landed with a thud on the floor. My heart felt like it was about to burst from my chest, and I could swear I could still feel the burning sensation on my body. Alec was there on the floor with me within the instant and wrapped me up into a hug.

“Shhh, what happened? Are you okay?” Alec’s calm voice somewhat helped mellow my erratic heartbeat. Cold sweat ran down my face as I leaned on him for support.  My lips felt chapped as I slid my tongue across them.

“They have to die Alec. I will not let them get away from taking everything from me. I just won’t.” Sudden determination rattled my bones. Removing myself from his arms I stood up and began to pace the room. “We need to come up with a plan and rally some troops. Start training people in secret we will get that paper.”

Waking Shadows Release :) (another unfinished story lol)

Gritting my teeth I felt the tug of skin beneath my blade. I watched the blood flow rapidly from the jogger’s neck causing me crave so much more. I wanted to cut here and there saw of a limb or two. I smirked at myself of all the possibilities I could dispose of the body. Blood ran down my arms and I hungrily wrapped them around me wanting nothing more than to bathe in this pathetic man’s blood.  I threw back my head and laughed a sick and twisted laugh as I made cuts along his arteries letting his blood pour into the buckets I laid under his body. His body twitched on the metal bed frame showing the last signs of any life in his body leaving. I turned and looked at the dirty mirror that hung on the wall of the cramped work space and smiled happily at myself. My eyes were blood shot and my small round face was caked in his blood along with several chunks of my thick brown hair.

Sucking in a sharp breath of air I held back a scream. The purple sheets from my bed clung to my body from the cold sweat that drenched me. I quickly rubbed my face and slapped myself to make sure that I was for sure awake. I don’t know why that particular nightmare of me murdering the same guy kept coming back each and every time I went to sleep. At first I was afraid to sleep and I would stay up for days on end until I crashed in the middle of class. I fell out of my chair twitching and flopping around like a fish I guess I freaked the teacher out because everyone thought I was having a seizure and he ran off to fetch the nurse. By the time they returned I was sitting up looking like I just drank a bottle of booze. They called my mom to come and get me and take me to the nearest clinic because they were freaked out that I would do it again. But of course all of the tests came back negative and they prescribed me sleeping pills because they thought I had a massive case of insomnia. All I can say to that is whatever.   

Sighing I climbed out of bed what I needed right now was a nice hot shower to rinse away the nights torture. Stepping under the warm spray I rubbed my hands through my hair trying to contemplate if I should skip school today or not. I only have a few more weeks until I graduate and I have perfect grades plus I hardly skip and I know that Tasha will give me the day’s notes seeing as we made sure we had the same exact classes for our last trimester in school.  Another bonus is that I can fake my mom’s voice and call in saying I’m not going to be at school. Sneering at the tiled wall I knew that today would be perfect to skip because both my mom and dad we’re going to be out on some huge case they’ve been working on and I guess they had some sort of breakthrough.  I wrapped a towel around myself and stepped out when I heard a light knock at the door. Cracking it open I peeked into the hall to see my mom was standing just outside the door.

“Marissa we’re heading out now and I don’t know when we’ll be back I’m assuming later tonight, but if we aren’t back by dinner time go ahead and order some pizza if you don’t feel like cooking. Also you can invite Tasha over if you want so you won’t be all alone all night either. Maybe you two can have a little sleep over or something?”   She tilted her head to the side and flashed me her wide toothed grin.

“Yeah okay mom sounds good to me.” I flashed a small smile back at her. “Be careful today and I hope you guys catch the sick guy that’s killing all these people.” She tilted her head and nodded.

“Why thank you honey and you have a nice time at school. Love you.” She turned and left I think she’s grown accustom to me not ever saying it back.  I pushed the meaningless thoughts aside and clicked the door shut behind me. Blow drying my hair and styling it up I lined my plump lips with some gloss, and rimmed my eyes in dark eyeliner.  After getting dressed for the day I grabbed my cellphone and headed downstairs just to make sure they really left. Satisfied they were gone I called up the school.

“Bingham Senior High School this is Edna.” Edna nasally voiced into my ear.

“Hello Edna this is Mrs. Jenkins my daughter Marissa is ill with the flu and won’t be coming into school today.” I cleared my throat as I twirled a chunk of my hair around my finger.

“Very well thank you for calling and letting us know we’ll clear her for the day.”  I could hear her typing rapidly at her keyboard and smacking her gum. “Have a nice day Mrs. Jenkins.”

“You too Edna.” I hit the end button eager to get out of the house. I grabbed my car keys and bolted out the door to find that a light drizzle of rain hit my face. “You have got to be freaking kidding me.” As if in response the wind picked up and whipped my hair into my face. “Yeah sure just go right on a ahead and try to make my day bad. That’s SO not going to happen.” I yelled at the wind as I climbed into my small car. Turning the engine over and over again it refused to start. “Go figure just my luck that everything has to go wrong the day I skip school. Maybe it’s karma.” I mumble under my breath as I smack my head onto the steering wheel.

Chewing on the inside of my lip I head back inside. “I guess I’ll stay in today. Maybe watch a movie or something.” I dug through our stash of DVD’s and decided on some sappy love story called Desires of the Soul.  I put the disk in and walked into the kitchen to whip up some popcorn. I can never watch a movie without some sort of munchies and drink so I grabbed a can of soda as the popcorn popped. Hearing the beginning of the movie the microwave binged I grabbed it and plopped my butt down on our white sofa. Though the next thing I knew I woke up to my phone blaring Higher by Taio Cruz. Puzzled I shook my hand out of the popcorn bowel and grabbed for my phone.

“Hello.” I mumbled into the phone as I wiped the sleep from my eyes.

“Marissa why weren’t you in class today?” An urgent but calm voice said on the opposite end that I could only assume was from my best friend Tasha. 

“Tasha aren’t you a lovely checker upper?” I was quite annoyed that I was interrupted from the nap I don’t remember taking, but it was nice having some sleep without that horrid nightmare.

“Well how come?” Just  as I was about to answer her when I heard a hard knock on the door.

“Look Tasha I can’t talk about that right now someone’s at the door. I’ll call you back later okay.” I cracked my neck as I stood up waiting for her to respond.

“Whatever.” After that all I heard was the dial tone so I knew she was pissed at me. Hanging up the phone I answered the door and placed a hand on my hip, but the instant I saw that a tall and very good looking police officer was standing in my door way my heart immediately dropped.

“Are you Marissa Jenkins?”  He raised his eyebrow at the question making his lucid green eyes shimmer. I gulped and shook my head yes. “Marissa I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. Your parents were killed in a shootout earlier today.” I just sat there and stared at him to afraid to move and to afraid to speak because I knew if I did I would fall apart right then and there.

Darkness -- Small Preview

Staring up into the darkening sky it seems as if I can glimpse into my soul. I was once a good person that is until my parents were brutally murdered in front of me when I was fourteen. Opening my mouth I took in the humid air hoping it would moisten the feeling of sandpaper in my mouth. I spread my arms wide wanting to embrace the creeping feeling of death and despair into every pore of my body. I didn’t care if people would stop and glance at me and give me odd looks. I felt at home standing here in the middle of this particular graveyard.  A slow wicked smile spread across my face as I released the breath of air and slowly lowered my arms I was finally at ease and ready to take on the night.  Hailing a taxi I told him my destination, Club Tonic. I’ve always loved going there during the waking hours of the night.    

Getting out of the taxi I paid my fare and looked around. Music pounded through the walls of the club pouring into the dark dank alley. A couple hooking up just outside the backdoor by the dumpster was rather hilarious to me. Cocking my head to the side I always wondered what it would be like to feel such emotion.  The only emotions I tend to feel are those that consist of hate and death. I don’t think I can say I’ve actually felt close to anyone. Letting out a breath of air it came out in little puffs against the brisk cold air as I dug my hands deeper into my jacket pockets. Hunching my shoulders I moved towards the line that wrapped around the club and expertly weaved my way into the crowd that was just moving inside the club door.

“Hey watch it dude.” Some chick blurted into my ear. I must not have seen her and caused her to fall into the door jamb when I bumped into her. Mumbling sorry I made my way to the bar. The bar has always had good luck for me it’s where I would always find my prey. I really didn’t have a type per say. I mainly looked for someone who caught my eye for the night. I mostly looked for the ones that seemed a bit desperate or pissed off at the world for some stupid reason. Or maybe a loner someone who seems depressed and sits at the bar drinking like a fish. Though I don’t go around slicing people’s throats or breaking necks to get my jolly’s off. I’m not into that at all. I’m more into freezing them chopping them up or mulching them into little tiny bits. Yes I will admit it’s a bit twisted, but I never said I was your typical normal killer.

I watched as the wave of bodies danced under the pulsing lights that changed with every thump of music. Hands waved into the air, hips swayed in an effortless motion and bodies bumped against one another.  I squinted my eyes when I spotted her as she gracefully climbed the stairs up onto the bar. I could tell she was going to be the one tonight. I snickered to myself as she sat on the wooden barstool next to me. This is going to be easy I thought to myself. I cracked my neck and flashed a smile when she looked my way. She had stick straight blonde hair and her eyes gleamed a golden hazel color when the light caught them just right. Her makeup was on way to thick and her clothes were to tight. She gave me the impression she was desperate for attention from anyone as she shifted slightly towards me.

“I’m Trista.” Her voice was velvety and soft, she raised her eyebrow as she waited for me to respond. Clearing my throat I tilted my head forward.

“I’m Corbin; it’s very nice to meet your acquaintance Trista.”  I watched a slight smile spread across her face, and I couldn’t help but smile even wider. This really was going to be too easy. I could tell she was already giving in by my just answering her. I leaned forward and whispered into her ear. “May I buy you a drink?” I watched as she nervously played with a strand of her hair as she shook her head. “Great. Can we get two shots of whatever over here?” The bar tender looked up from his obvious show of time consuming activity of rubbing down glasses and nodded slightly. I’ve never seen sour face before he either must be new or a transfer, but all I know is that I didn’t like the vibe he put off either that or his body odor.  He mixed them and brought them over with a smug look on his acne scared face.

“Twelve fifty buddy.” His rancid breath wafted into my face as I dug through my pocket and pulled out fifteen bucks and placed it onto the bar top.

“Keep the change.” He shook his head and walked off.   “So Trista, what’s a pretty girl like you doing in a dive like this?”

She chuckled lightly and bit into her lip. “Oh I don’t know. I was just bored and all my friends are out working tonight.”  I smiled at her and watched as some of the stress washed away from her face. “You know it’s so nice to actually meet a guy who wants to have a conversation rather than sex.” Nope I want your pathetic self in tiny bits laying at the bottom of the lake nearby I thought to myself. She returned my smile and I knew that I had her underneath my finger. “Though I would like to go somewhere a bit quieter you know so maybe we can get to know each other a bit more.” What was it that any conversation I had it always ended up short sweet and to the point? Maybe it’s because I came off as a nice guy rather than the monster I truly was, all I know is it was quite odd but very nice at the same time.

I stuck my arm out and she giggled like the Pillsbury dough boy as she threaded her arm through mine. I led her out to my beat up old dodge and let her in the passenger side. I rounded the corner and I could feel her eyes pierce me to the bone I glanced sideways and smirked lightly just before climbing into the driver’s side. Silently as drove I made a mental checklist in my mind to make sure I had everything I would need. The drugs were hidden in my glove compartment and my carving tools along with the rope and tape were in the tool box in the bed of the truck. I tapped my finger on the steering wheel as I felt her scoot closer to me. I was suddenly feeling claustrophobic and wanted nothing more than to shove her out of the truck as I slammed on the gas petal flooring it. She flung back and giggled making my anger spark. I gripped the steering wheel now causing my knuckles to turn white against my tanned skin. 

I could feel the urge taking over and I knew I was no longer myself. My need to kill was more prominent than my need to breathe. My blood began to boil in my veins as the evil began to chip away at mortality. I yanked the wheel to the right pulling the truck onto a deserted road and pulled over. I could hear her suck in a deep breath as I turned the engine off and moved towards her. I couldn’t help but notice the small bruises on the inside of her arm. She was a drug user. “Drugs?” I whispered into the dead air.

“What do you mean? I…I don’t do drugs?” She scooted into the passenger side door gnawing on her bottom lip.

“Yes you do Trista.” I spat out her name when I could sense her fear rising. “I know you do I can tell by the ligature marks on your skin you shoot heroin don’t you?”

Her face crumpled in defeat. “Yes…yes I do. Do you really have some?” I shot my eyes to the glove box and nodded discreetly. She reached over and opened it than began to go through its contents.  Her face light up as she pulled out a small black pouch. Gingerly she pulled the needle out and looked at it in awe. “Can I really have some?” Eagerly I shook my head as I watched her slide the needle into her arm and push the plunger down. A small whimper of pleasure escaped her lips as she thought what was heroin flood into her veins. “Thank you so much Corbin.” I knitted my eyebrows together confused momentarily.

“Who’s Corbin?” I cocked my head to the side and say in a wickedly harsh tone. Her face went from relaxed to alarm. She tried to bail out of the truck, but discovered she couldn’t move to well. She began to pat her hands all over her body as the panic spread when she realized she couldn’t feel most of her body. I sat back and watched her with a twisted evil grin on my face.

 “Corbin’s not your name?”  The side of her jaw was slightly slacked and her words came out jumbled and barely audible

“My name?” I threw my head back and laughed hysterically. “Why sweet heart I lied to you. I don’t go around giving my reaal name out freely.” I could see her eyebrows drop lower and lower and soon she was out cold. I sat up straight and scooted back into the driver’s seat and started the truck back up. I had to get her back to my place and into my torture chambers in my special secluded basement just on the outskirts of town before she fully came too. I wasn’t in the mood to wrestle with my kill.

Soon my small wooden shack came into view. I always liked coming here not only just to kill, but just because it was away from civilization. I hated being in crowded areas for to long, and I always ended up losing my temper. Exiting my truck I went around to the passenger side and opened the door. Her body toppled over the side and landed face flat in the cold wet mud. Shaking my head I chuckled lightly as I hoisted her body over my shoulder. I kicked open the door and it creaked open on its rusted hinges. The inside reeked of mildew and old shoes. The floors were rotting and covered in dirt and grime from the weather that managed to make it in from the broken windows. I never dared cross those floor boards for the fear of falling through and plummeting into the basement. Grunting I cared her towards the stairs cautious of where I stepped. My foot slid on the top stair and I let her body go as I grabbed for the rail. Her body bounced down the stairs like a bowling ball until it landed with a loud thud on the bottom step. Looks like she’ll be passed out longer than I wanted her to be which meant I would have to hurry. 

Slowly I walked down the stairs making sure I wouldn’t end up sliding down them and knock myself out. I picked up her lifeless body and threw her on the cold hard table that was in the middle of stone basement and strapped her down. I examined her closely I knew each and every point on which I would make my cuts to make her bleed out. I clicked my tongue against my teeth and headed back up the stairs. An odd compulsion to clean up the evidence of her being in my truck took over. At least I knew I wouldn’t have to just stand there looking stupid waiting for her to wake up. I grabbed my shop vacuum and began to suck away every little crumb. Afterward I wiped down all the doors and little buttons she may have touched to make sure none of her finger prints showed up. Wiping away the sweat on my brow I threw away the wipes into a tin trashcan so I could burn those along with her belongings and clothes.

I whistled as I walked down the creaky old stairs. I could hear her thrashing around on the table as I hit the bottom step and a devilish smile spread across my face. I pushed the door open and peered around the edge. Her body instantly went still as I heard her cry out. “Please what do you want with me?” I chuckled as I walked into the room making sure I shut the door before I answered her. “What did I do to you?” Her cries became frantic and her makeup and mud ran like a lumpy colorful river down the sides of her small oval shaped face.

“I want your blood to run like the crimson river it was meant to be. I want your body chopped into little bits and used as my special mulch I use on my plants.” I sneered at her as I grabbed my clear plastic apron. Her eyes grew wide as I grabbed my electric saw and plugged it in. For effect I revved it up and watched her squirm against the restraints.

“Please oh please don’t kill me.” She struggled harder as she pleaded for her pathetic life. I put my face close to hers and smiled.

“I just can’t do that sweet heart. See here I have this urge or shall I say this need to spill the blood of someone who I think deserves it. Now don’t go on and ask questions. I believe you greatly deserve what is coming to you. You’re a drug addict abused I presume by the small bruises I can see that cover your stomach and neck. You’re nothing but a waste of walking skin and air and filled to the brim with glorious blood. You think you’re better than everyone else and you have massive insecurity’s about how you look.  If that doesn’t sound deserving enough that you are in fact perfect to be killed than I don’t know what does.”  She thrashed about some more than finally succumbed to the fact that she wasn’t going to break from her chained restraints.

 I taped over her mouth, turned my large electric saw and began my art of cutting along the desired areas. Her screams were like a song that hit all the right cords in my body, but I began to get sloppy as they died and I no longer had my rhythm to work with. I wiped away the excess blood from my arms and face as I observed my work. Her body was chopped a little jagged in some spots which would be no problem when I throw her body into my glorious wood chipper. Shoving her body parts into various black bags I lugged them up the stairs and deposited the one bag that contained her belongings into the small trashcan. I light a match threw it in and watched as the angry flames licked and burned away the rest of the evidence.

 Grunting I picked the bags back up and carried them to the wood chipper. Flicking it on I looked up at the sky noticing rain threatened to poor down on my parade. “Son of a bitch you have got to be kidding me!” I was answered with a loud clap of thunder followed by a bright bolt of lightning.  “That’s what I thought.” I mumbled under my breath as I quickly began to toss body parts and tree branches, even a few limes to kill the smell of the future decaying of the small chips of flesh into the groaning wood chipper. Just as the last part went in I felt a speckle of rain slosh onto my face. Sighing I wheeled my wheelbarrow into the pathetic excuse for a garage to begin the final mixing of my award winning mulch. I took my hand and began to mix it around. Thrill buzzed through my body as I could still feel the mushing and warmth of her blood in the ground up trees and dirt. I licked my lips hungrily as I tossed handfuls into more black bags. This right here was always one of my favorite parts. I loved the feel of the warmth of another person’s blood between my gloved fingers. It reminded me so much of the day that changed me.

My mother and father sat in the kitchen tied up to chairs and I was strapped by handcuffs to our fridge. My mother was crying mercifully as the intruder began to carve around my father’s body. He didn’t make a sound of pain he just kept saying how much he loved my mom and I. We were forced to watch if either of us was to squeeze our eyes shut or look away the man’s partner would start to do the same to us.  He would twitch here and there and soon his words faded and he was dead to the world. My mother screamed his name and looked away as the intruder and his partner severed my dad’s head. Than they were upon her she just screamed and sobbed as they made their cuts. They were much faster on her they had cut her throat shortly after they started on her; I’m only guessing it was because she was so loud. I watched as her blood sprayed across my face, and I still didn’t look away. A sinister grin spread across my face as I took it all in. My mom and dad’s blood began to mix as it pooled onto the kitchen floor and made its way towards me. I could feel it between my fingers warm and wet as it began to seep into my clothes. They stopped when her head was disconnected and gawked at me like I was a freak, but I knew what they were thinking. They were amazed that a fourteen year old boy could just sit there and watch his parents got mutilated and actually be fascinated by it. I think they must have knocked me out after that because I don’t remember anything else.

                After heaving the bags full of my corpse mulch I threw them into the large freezer down in my secluded basement so all the blood would freeze and crystalize furthering the process of proper mulch.  Cracking my knuckles I stripped my gloves and clothes off and changed. Grabbing my ruined clothes I headed back up upstairs hoping the rain hadn’t put out the fire I started. I poked my head out from under the small tiny roof I smiled lightly glad that the sky was still spitting instead of pouring. Depositing my clothes in the trashcan I grabbed a nearby stick and prodded the fire stirring around the ashes making sure the flames consumed everything. The rain started to pick up and I could feel heavy fat splashes of it run down the back of my neck. Anxiously I chewed the inside of my cheek as I watched the final glove melt away.  “Now it’s time to head on home. Thank you Trista for you lovely contribution to my mulching business.”

                Climbing into my truck I started it up, turned on the stereo and cranked the heat up. I could still here the pitter patter of rain on the metal roof of my truck and I tapped my foot lightly on the door panel.  The adrenaline and thrill from killing was slowly dying and I was beginning to feel exhausted, but I wasn’t ready to head home. I hardly ever got to leave as it was, but I was slowly working on that. There was nothing like some good mind picking here and there to lower the defenses of Ian. I closed my eyes and before I knew it I could feel sleep pulling me deeper into the recesses of my mind and I instantly snapped my eyes open. I couldn’t go to sleep just yet at least not here. Maybe heading home wasn’t such a bad idea anyways. It was almost five in the morning and I knew it would take a good hour and a half to get home. That is if I didn’t hit massive traffic this early in the morning. Putting the truck into gear I pulled away and couldn’t help but look into my rear view mirror and watch my sacred place disappear in the distance.

“Great, just my freaking luck.” I slammed my head into the steering wheel as my truck began to shutter and spew smoke from the hood. I knew I should have paid more attention when that stupid check engine light came on last night. I scanned my areas hoping that there was a place the truck would make it before it decided to fully die on me. There was a small grocery store parking lot to my right, and traffic wasn’t moving so that would be my best bet.  Plus there was a bus stop right on the corner, and that was probably going to be the only way I could possibly make it home. Quickly I turned the wheel and hit the gas, the truck groaned and more smoke poured from the hood, but it managed to crawl across the open road and into the parking lot. I had managed to park it on the far end of the lot just before it fully died on me.

                Climbing out I kicked the side of the truck silently cussing it for dying on me in my moment of need. I was just glad that I had decided to leave my tools of torture back at the shack, I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like trying to explain them if I accidently dropped them and someone saw them. Looking up I could see the line forming at the bus stop so I threw my hood up and jogged lightly towards it hoping it would actually be on time today. The buses here in Chicago are notorious for never being on time. Looks like my luck is turning I thought to myself just as the bus came to a stop in front of the line of people. I threw in the bus fare and weaved my way to the back of it. The smell of body odor, old musty leather, and oil filled my lungs as I drew in a deep breath which made me want to hurl. A small pudgy kid sat across from me and shoved a handful of chocolate into his mouth. It irritated me when people just sat there and stared at me even little kids. I coughed lightly and turned my head. The last thing that I needed right now was having my anger spark right here in the middle of a crowded cramped Chicago bus. I silently flexed my hands trying to drive my urges elsewhere so there wouldn’t be a blood bath. I breathed a sigh of relief when the bus finally arrived on the more swanky side of town and I eagerly took in a deep breath the instant I stepped out of those metal doors.

                Tall buildings gleamed in the morning sun. The glossed windows of the skyscrapers gleamed and shined as the sun bore down on them. Small puddles from last night’s storm still stained the roads and sidewalks. The pudgy kid waddled along while his mother gripped his hand tight, and it tweaked my every nerve that he still had his head turned staring at me. Grinding my teeth I turned abruptly running into an old woman. “What the hell.” I threw my arms into the air more annoyed then I should be and walked off leaving her on the ground. I began to sprint towards Ian’s knowing he would soon wake up. Reaching the gates of his town house I sucked in my last breath of fresh air for who knows how long.

****

                Sun pierced through my low slung blinds. Groaning I shielded my face and rolled over yanking the covers over my head not ready to wake up. My alarm sounded its annoying beep over and over again until I finally slammed my fist down on the snooze button. Sliding out of my white cotton sheets I moved groggily across my heated tiled floor heading straight to the shower. For some odd reason I felt kind of grimy and dirty. I peeled my clothes off dropping them into my nearby hamper and stood under the luke warm spray of my shower head. I cracked my neck and looked down noticing that I was in fact washing away looked like dirt and possibly blood. “What the…” I whispered between my sore chapped lips. I licked at them hoping to restore some moisture to them, but instead I got jolts of sharp pain. “Damn this humidity.”  This is the third time in the past two weeks that I’ve woken up feeling like someone dragged me through a puddle of mud. Sure there’s been days for quite a while that I’ve felt like this, but I’ve never had it happen this many times in such a short amount of weeks. It’s just odd.

                Stepping out of the shower I wrapped a towel around my bottom half and headed over to my closet. I rummaged through my casual dress wear knowing that if I didn’t hurry up I was going to be late for work. Finally settling on simple khaki slacks and a blue stripped dress shirt with a deep blue tie I got dressed, grabbed my keys and headed out to my Bentley.