Dear Agony: Chapter Four Cheater

Morning came to quick. We stood at the door hugging each other for as long as we could. We both knew it was time for him to leave and we didn’t want to let go of each other. His co-worker blared the horn Stephen let go of me and kissed me deeply on the lips.

“Love you Izzy.” Brushing the hair out of my face and kissing me lightly again I sighed I didn’t want to let him go, “I love you too Stephen.” The horn blared again and we both rolled our eyes. Giving each other one last hug and kiss he was out the door. Watching him go was the hardest thing I had to do. I wanted so badly to chase after him and stop him from going, but I know I can’t do that. Sighing again I knew I had to get things done instead of staring out the window waiting for him to get home. I climbed up the stairs to get ready gabbing my phone off the nightstand I texted Claire a very apologetic text message in hopes of maybe getting together with her and the girls after I quit my job that is. Right when I was heading out the door to head into the theater I got my reply from her.

“Girl we know how you are! And it’s way understandable he’s a good looking guy! How about we get together at the theater here around noon?”

Smiling I text her back.

“Well I want nothing more than friendship with Sam anyways.” Lie of course because the guy is always on my mind. “And I’m heading into the theater right now. I’m going to quit my job. I’ll tell you guys about it later.”

Another girls day out was exactly what I needed to get my mind off of all the things that seem to be muddling it.

I made it before they did so I headed in and talked to my boss telling him I quit due to the fact that I wanted to pursue another career. He took it quite will which was nice because he’s been known for his random out bursts. I remember him yelling at Tiffani when she quit. Who know maybe he’s used to it or he just didn’t think I would cut it. Either way I’m glad to be away from the confined spaces of the theater and its stage.  By the time I left the building and got outside my friends had collected just outside the doors. We ran around to all the local shops and grabbed a bite to eat. I told them Stephen was in Sunset valley for the next month and that we should all hang out more. It had been eating at me from what I did with Sam that I had to tell them everything that happened.  How I regret making out with him and at the same time how I craved more. They all had exchanged worried glances which they didn’t think I caught but I did, but when they looked at me they had smiles on their faces and began to rattle off their two cents.  By the time that they were finished brutally beating me with their words I was in some serious need for some strong drinks. So we all hugged and headed our separate ways after we were done eating.  When I got home and walked through the front door I locked it went to the bedroom and changed into my pajamas. I entered the kitchen grabbed a bottle of some hard stuff and a glass and headed back up the stairs to settle in on the couch and read my favorite book while I waited for Stephen to call me.  When the phone rang I jumped and some of the drink spilt down my chin. I hadn’t realized that I was drinking from the bottle and my mind was beginning to get fuzzy.

“Hello?” I slurred a bit.

“Hey, babe. How are you?”  If he caught it he didn’t say anything.

“Hey Stephen! I’m doing pretty good. I finally got together with my friends and went shopping. How was your flight?”
It was long and boring. And I’m sharing a room with Rob. I’m hoping like hell I can get some sleep tonight. It’s going to be tough between not having you here with me and Rob’s snoring.”  We both laugh.

“Well I know I won’t be able to..” A knock on the door startles me and causes me to almost drop the phone “sleep.” I get up and peak into the doors peep hole to discover that it’s Sam.  “Oh babe I’m sorry but I need to go. Claire is outside on the porch crying.”

“Oh.” I can hear the disappointment in his voice.” Okay I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you.”

“I love you too hun.” I hang it up the phone and set it down on the end table and answer the door. “What are you doing here Sam?” I place one of my hands on my hip and cock my eyebrow.

“You smell like alcohol.” I blush as he raises his eyebrows. “But I heard Stephen was out of town and I wanted to drop on over here and see you.” I bite my lip.

“Uh well I was just getting ready to go to sleep. Maybe you can stop by sometime in the morning?” I can feel my head beginning to swim as the alcohol takes over and clouds all my judgment and I didn’t want him in the house with me when the effects took my mind completely.  I begin to shut the door but he wedges his foot between the wall and door.

“Aw come on Izzy. I’ve missed you.” He pushes the door open more and smiles his crooked smile that makes my heart skip. I sigh and let him in. “Fine just for a minute.”

He walks in and looks at me, “Thanks. You can’t say that you didn’t miss me even a little bit.” He’s right I can’t say that and guilt floods my body. He slips off his jacket and plops down on the couch.

“That’s what I thought.” He smirks at me.

“It’s not what you think.” I stammer out.

“Uh huh or is that just the alcohol talking?”

He really has gotten to me these past few days. The feelings I have for him always seem conflicted. It bothers me that I let him get under my skin, but I like it at the same time. His voice snaps me out of my thoughts and back to the reality of the situation.

“So you just gonna stand there and state at me. I mean I know I’m good looking but you can at least be blunt about it and not just stare.” A blush flares into my cheeks turning them red/

“Oh uh sorry.” I plop down next tom him on the couch. , and realize that I’m still in my tank top and undies. I feel him shift to face me my heart races and I almost stop breathing when I feel his breath hot against my neck. My minds now swimming in its own dream land, and everything begins to spin out of control when his lips press against mine. Who am I kidding? I’ve wanted this we kissed yesterday. Wrapping my arms around him I pull him closer. I hear him mutter against my lips something that sounds like, “That’s more like it.” Out kisses grow hungrier our hands more adventurous.  The next thing I know I’m waking up in bed with him hours later. My head is pounding and my drinks have worn off. I become sick to my stomach because of what I just did. I get up and lock myself into the bathroom and cry silently to myself. I’m furious at myself for being so stupid and letting him in when I knew my judgment would be compromised. I know I can’t keep this from Stephen I must tell him when he calls me. I hear a knock on the door and I glance towards it not budging.

“Izzy you okay?”

“Sam just leave please. I need to be by myself.” I can hear him growing frustrated.

 “Whatever.”  He spits out.

I assume he goes back into the bedroom gets dressed and then slams the door as he leaves.  I curl up into a ball on the cold tiled floor and break down and sob till I feel numb. The rest of the day goes by in a blur and night came to quickly along with Stephen’s phone call. Breaking down I tell him everything that happened between me and Sam. I can hear the pain in his voice when he finally speaks.

“Izzy how,” He draws in a breath, “how could you do this to us?”

“I don’t know.” I sob into the phone.

“I can’t talk about this right now. I just can’t, it hurts too much Izzy.” The line goes dead. I’m still staring at it clutching it in my hands willing him to call back. But I know he won’t. I feel so numb and dead inside I don’t want to move. I crawl into bed holing his pillow I cry myself to sleep. A few weeks have gone by and the most I’ve done is move from the bed to the bathroom than to the kitchen than back to bed usually with something hard to drink in hopes of dulling the ever growing pain in my heart. I haven’t heard from Stephen since I told him and frankly I don’t blame him. I miss him so much it feels as if I’ve swallowed glass. ON the other hand Sam calls me more than ten times a day. He even sends me texts asking why I won’t answer the phone. He’s even resorted to coming over and banging on my door twice a day. Eventually my friends come to my aide and let them in grateful for a bit of company. I know I’m a sight for sore eyes. My hairs messy, my eyes have bags under them and blood shot from crying so much. I tell them everything that happened, they tell me they saw it coming but never told me because they knew I would deny it. I know I have no right to be mad at them for not telling me because they are right. Claire says I can move in with her till I figure out what’s going on between me and Stephen. So the week before he’s supposed to come home I moved out thanks to the help of my friends. I call him up knowing he won’t answer but I leave a voicemail telling him I won’t be there when he gets home and that I’ve moved in with Claire. Though I am betting now that he doesn’t care either way.  

Settling down in Claire’s guest room was difficult to do. Knowing that I won’t see him when he arrives is painful and fresh tears sting my eyes. I strip my clothes off and jump into the tub to soak before I head to bed. I’m hoping it will help release some stress, but I know it won’t. Claire took me to the doctor earlier in the day before she headed to work. He prescribes me some type of sleeping pill and something for my depression as well. I swallow both pills after getting out of the tub and climb into bed waiting to fall into a drug induced dreamless sleep. I sleep like the dead, and I don’t wake till late in the afternoon. I do feel a bit more refreshed but my emotions are still raw, and I don’t want to face Claire and ‘talk’ about my issues. So I don’t leave my room to get something to eat till she’s left for work. After eating and watching a few shows I go back to my room to take my meds again, but I’m stopped by the sound of rocks being thrown against the window. I pull the curtain aside and see Sam standing out on the lawn. My mind begins to spin out of control. How on earth did he know where I was let alone which room I was in? I open the window to voice my question.

“Sam how did you know I was here?”

“I just did. How come you’ve been avoiding my calls and messages?”

“Because you helped me ruin my life Sam that’s why.”

“But we can be together now he’s out of the picture. You said that things might be different if he wasn’t around!”

“Never!” I scream at him, “I never want to see you again and I never want to be with you! Just leave me alone! I never want to see your face again Sam!”

“You’ll never get rid of me! I’ll have you one day Izzy. One day you will be mine, or you will be dead!”

I slam the window shut and locks than run through the house making sure everything is locked up. That’s when Sam begins to bang on the door yelling, “If I can’t have you Izzy no one can! Do you hear me? I’ll kill you myself!”

I run into the kitchen and grab a knife and the phone I head back into the living room shaking and waiting for him to come through that door.  I franticly dial 911 and I begin to sob to the operator as he bangs harder. Soon I hear the wailing of sirens and my knees buckle under nether me when I hear it stop knowing that he’s run off. It was just my luck that Claire got home right when the police showed up.  As she and the cops burst through the door they find me sobbing on the floor sill clutching the phone and knife. Claire bends down and takes both away from me and sets them aside lightly on the floor and takes me into her arms and helps me sit on the couch. After I’ve been calmed down I tell them how I think Sam has been stalking me and all the things he said to me that’s lead me to believe that he just isn’t a stalker, but he’s dangerous as well. They tell me and Claire that they will have an officer stationed outside for the next few days and nights. But still Claire and I were to afraid to go to sleep or move we just sit there holding onto each other shaking